A car on a road, driving towards mountains with a rainbow. Why You Don't Get What

Why You Don’t Get What You Want

You’re Asking for the Wrong Thing

We read and get told what we need to do and what not to do, to get what we want. We follow those “instructions” to the letter and one of three things happen – we get what we want, nothing changes or we get the opposite, what we don’t want. Why?

When there is no movement we start getting frustrated because we find ourselves stuck in a rut, on the plateau of no movement. And this is even though we are doing all the visualisation, all the affirmations, we’re letting go… What is going on?

It’s not a science, as such, but it is a law set in stone. Actually a set of laws.

One is the law of thinking, as Holliwell calls it. It’s the way we think. The other is action or lack of it. If you don’t believe it, you’re not going to act on it. Sometimes we get to the point where we have to take that leap of faith because where we are is too painful to stay, and we want to move on to a better way of living.

Why don’t we get what we want all the time? Why do we sometimes get what we don’t want?

The thought

By now, you would have read, either on this site or somewhere else, that the way you think determines the outcome of your life. This is not a maybe – it’s a fact. As Orison Swett Marden said, “He can who thinks he can”. If you think you can’t do something you’re not going to do it. That’s common sense.

But behind those words is also the insight to the way you think – what is it that you think you can’t do? And is it just one thing or when you look deeper into it you realise that it is touching different parts of your life? You’ll find it does; just like the roots of the plant spread-out throughout the soil, so does a belief.

What’s your thinking got to do with getting what you want in life? Look at it from the other side – do you think you can get it? Let’s consider another question – do you think you are lucky and you can win things, just like that? Or do you believe that you’re not necessarily unlucky but that things like that don’t happen to you?

Energy, vibration and frequency. The energy you put out, the vibration of your own thoughts, the frequency you are sending, determine what comes back to you. If you set a radio to Radio X you’re not going to receive the sounds from Radio Y. You’re going to get Radio X. 123MHz or 321MHz.

So if you are tuned in to what you don’t want, that’s what you’ll get.

This is where your conscious and subconscious mind come into play.

The Orville syndrome

As a kid I remember a ventriloquist with a green duck, wearing a nappy, who didn’t believe that it could fly, The duck was called Orville and Orville always said that he couldn’t fly. Let me say that again – he always said he couldn’t fly.

We do the same thing, mostly unconsciously. We say things never really thinking about them or the effects they will have on us personally. “I’m ill”, “I don’t feel well”, “I’m old”, “I’m getting older”, “I feel my age(???)”, “When ____ I’ll be ____”.

We drive negative statements into our subconscious through our conscious babblings, that create beliefs, which the subconscious automatically follows because they have become goals and targets to aim for.

The conscious is the gateway to the subconscious. But with one major caveat – the feeling is the secret, as Neville would remind us. The words you use, if they have no emotional impact will have no impact. Negative statements however have a greater emotional impact that positive statements.

When we’re having a bad day we are able to describe it in great detail. But when we are having a good day, our response to the question, “How are you?”, becomes, “I’m good”. But the same question on a bad day and we can describe every event, feeling and thought down to minuscule detail.

We feel the negative, the bad, the ugly more than the positive because it affects us emotionally more.

The fox and the scorpion

The parable of the fox and the scorpion is an example of how unchanging our habits, no matter how much we consciously want them to be different.

The scorpion climbs on the fox’s back, after they have agreed that the scorpion won’t sting the fox, whilst crossing a river. But the scorpion stings the fox half way across and they both drown. When the fox asks the scorpion why it stung her, the scorpion replies that it is in it’s nature.

The message of the parable was to say that peoples nature doesn’t change. Excepting a few special circumstances, this is not true. We can change. But we must know what we want to change and what to change it to.

We must also be aware that our subconscious will not hold the same beliefs that we want. Consciously we are saying our affirmations, writing our goals, planning what we need to do to get to where we want to get to. But subconsciously these ideals haven’t taken root yet.

Our old ideals (beliefs and biases) are still in charge and until we alter them we will still get what we got before.

Over the rainbow

Affirmations, vision boards, secret letters, all that you do to make that change is not fruitless. You may be missing the crucial component, the crucial part, that is feeling.

You have to feel the “wish fulfilled” in order to get it. You must begin to understand that the only way to get what you want is that first you have to be the person that you want to be – in your mind, first.

The gold at the end of the rainbow may be a fairytale, but the gold at the end of your own rainbow is the same thing that you see and believe in now. The problem isn’t always that we don’t see it but that we don’t believe that we can get there.

Maybe you feel that you don’t deserve it, that having that life is wrong, that it’s an evil or unethical. On the other hand it may go against your own values, morals and ethics. The latter is what drives us to or away something. Why we feel uncomfortable doing some things.

To get what you want you must first decide what those things are. If need be start with what you don’t want to recognise the life you do want.

And above all, stop thinking about what you don’t want. Make it a habit to think of the things you want, how you want them to be. And be patient. Everything takes time – some things move quicker when you make a definite decision.

So let me ask you, what have you been thinking today? What goals are you giving your subconscious?

Your assumption to be effective cannot be a single isolated act; it must be a maintained attitude of the wish fulfilled.
Neville Goddard

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all the time thing. You don’t win once in a while… you don’t do things right once in a while… you do them right all the time. Winning is habit.
Vince Lombardi

Photograph by: Calvin Chou on Unsplash

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